Habits & Focus

“To succeed you must first improve, to improve you must first practice, to practice you must first learn, and to learn you must first fail.” -Wesley Woo

Habits – Good and Bad, we all have them. Sometimes we pass them on to our children. Sometimes to our employees. What then do we as leaders want to pass on to our employees that will make a difference. What habits have caused you to fail? How have you learned from that failure?

Habits are like light or water. Light can be used to warm a room or condensed into a laser type intensity and strong enough to cut through steel. When you turn on the water in the shower and you stand there, you are enjoying the feeling of the warm water. Or perhaps you are sitting in a hot tub. Same feeling, enjoyment from the warmth of the water. If you have ever used a high pressure washer, the stream of high pressure comes out so forceful that you can strip the face of a brick. It’s the same material that you used when you took your shower, but what is the difference? It is the intensity. It’s the focus. It is the same light, just the intensity changes.

How to take some of your habits and learn how to increase the intensity. Are you going to have to increase the intensity forever? No

It takes 21 consistent days to create a habit.

  1.  Work Habits

               a.  You have to see work the right way.

               b.  You have to work on the way you think.

                        i.  The way you think and see success

                       ii.  The way you see your team              

              c.  People have to learn how to filter things through a brain cell

You are at where you are in life because of how you think. Success is an attitude. Think on this, from the neck down, you are worth about $10 an hour. From the neck up, you are priceless. Then the question becomes, Which one do you feed more?

Hard work x Smart work = Results

Focus – Emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness—getting in touch with your inner voice. Leaders who heed their inner voices can draw on more resources to make better decisions and connect with their authentic selves. But what does that entail? A look at how people focus inward can make this abstract concept more concrete (Harvard Business Review, December 2013.)

Have you ever said to yourself, I should have, I could have. You are not living up to your full potential. But you know that there are only 24 hours in a day. You know there are only 365 days in a year. Nobody can give you more hours in a day, it just isn’t possible. Nobody can give you more days in the year except leap year at 366 days. So as you see, things around you won’t change. The only thing that you are able to change is your effort. Today, you have to stop begging, stop looking for average, stop crying. You have to stop, look in the mirror, and since nothing else is going to change, you have to change by giving more effort. If you only give 70%, you will only get 70% in return. You have heard the saying, “You reap what you sow.”

Some are looking for a funded education. I need a scholarship to go to school. Whatever the situation, you figure that part out, you have to give more, Read more, study more. I need that next stripe on my uniform. You need to focus more. What more can I do on my job? Ask how you can give more, ask how you can do more? Ask yourself, What effort am I giving? If 100% is maximum, give 120%. 

You might have a vision board, a list of goals, a schedule you live by everyday, a life road map. You are not going to make it by just “looking” at your goals. Everybody has goals and dreams. What makes you different then of everyone else with the same goals and dreams? When everyone wakes up, they are not giving 100%. Some not even 70%. What is 70%? Average. You have to wake up and commit to and focus on 120%, twenty-four-seven, three sixty five! You have to give ‘Effort’. Stop being the one that gets passed by. Once you do that, once you are at 120%,  your vision board will come alive, your goals will be met. Remember this, If it were easy, everyone would be doing it!

“When I thought I couldn’t go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck.” Estee Lauder



Choices – People make them everyday. Some make good choices, some make bad. If you don’t make a choice, you may end up like the saying in the picture above. You might drown. Other choices you make may not only affect you but others in your family. In order to become a better leader or person of influence, you need to raise the bar on yourself, your attitude, and your behavior. Don’t allow yourself to vent in public like I did yesterday about the soccer story from Ann Coulter. When that is done, it only proves you did not take time to think about the response and it can be rather embarrassing. Don’t let anger get the better of you either. That shows a sign of weakness. You do not want to make someone else the brunt of your behavior or bad attitude.

You were born with the ability to make choices. Sometimes the task of making the choice is easy and sometimes it is hard. Either way you are going to have to make choices at some point of your life. Dr. Stephen R. Covey in 2008 stated, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. We can use this space to choose our response.” This one principle is powerful. Many people, the reason they make a bad choice is they made the choice to quickly. When you stop, think about your decision, and then make your choice, you have used the “space” to choose your response properly.

Carol and I have had to make some very hard choices lately. Choices frankly we thought we would never have to answer. More than likely, there will be more choices to come. The difference in our ability to make choices now than from earlier in our lives is the amount of knowledge we have both gained through the years. We don’t claim to have all the answers and we don’t, but we learn each and every day. You have to live for the right now. Yesterday is gone and you do not have the power to change anything that is no longer available. Nor to you have a way to predict the future. So if everything right now, is ok, then there is optimism for the next moments in time. But what happens if the next moment isn’t great or good. How can you control that moment of now? What you can control is the space between stimulus and response. “You have to take a moment, take control of yourself, your emotions and your responses.” Les Brown. Let’s say you did fall in the water. Let’s say that body of water is a lake. You fell overboard on the boat from which you were skiing. What are you going to do? Do you have a life vest that will assist in your ability to save yourself? Can you swim? Did someone see you fall off the boat? Questions that you ask yourself before you can choose an answer. The point being, you now know that there is “time” between stimulus and response. Use it to make a wise decision.

One of the hardest choices we made so far was that of having her right leg amputated. This was a life altering choice. Not just a “what kind of ice cream would you like” from Baskin – Robbins. The reason that her leg was amputated was because she had a brokent leg that became infected. Carol was also receiving Chemo and Radiation which lowers the immune system. Carol had a third surgery on her leg to try to remove most of the infection. While the doctor was in the leg, he noticed that the infection spread to the bone. This usually does not heal itself and with a supressed immune system, probably wasn’t going to heal at all. Well, just a few short weeks later, another infection sore opened on the opposite side of the leg she just had cleaned. This is when the amputation decision was made. It surely came as a big blow but the blow was softened by preparation. This preparation was the “space” between stimulus and response. Although we had a little time, the response was not easy by any means. We were prepared which counts.

Looking at the words in the picture above again, by Zig Ziglar, What choice would you have if you fell in the water? I suppose you could choose to not do anything and just sink to the bottom of the water and drown. You could also choose to tread water for how ever long you would need for someone to rescue you. Or perhaps you could choose to swim to the nearest body of land or boat or other floating device that may be in the water. I don’t think you would have the luxury of time given this situation. The “space” between stimulus and response in this case has got to be made rather quickly. Otherwise, you will drown.

Choices – We all have to make them. There is no getting around the idea of not making choices. You choose what you eat and drink. You choose what television program you are going to watch or whether or not you will even watch TV. Whatever choice you make in the future, you will now know that you are authorized to take a “space” to decipher the stimulus and then provide the response. Make the right choice!

What? Soccer un-American? Ann Coulter un-

As a follow-up to my post this morning, I read an article about Ann Coulter and how she thinks Soccer is un-American. She stated that “Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay. Now my blog is about being positive and having a positive attitude.

I don’t understand her actual point of concern. Why is she knocking soccer when it is actually gaining US interest. She rants about how it isn’t this and isn’t that and how “Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls — all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they’re standing alone at the plate. But there’s also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.”

Now I have agreed and disagreed with Ann over the years but this really takes the cake. A note from a fellow blogger describes her rant this way: Moral decay? That’s a bit much even for a rabble rouser like Coulter, but it’s been a popular line in the far right wing media recently thanks to soccer’s sudden rise in popularity. Obviously, anything that’s popular in Europe is awful, and will only bring socialism to America, so this evil nuisance must be stomped out so our children don’t all  become homosexuals…even though if they are, it’s because they were born that way and it’s perfectly acceptable. I find it

Ann Coulter stated that “Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. ”  Exactly how do you think the ball gets in the goal Ms. Coulter? Soccer is much more about individual achievement than any other sport, but there is also the team effort that is portrayed. I really think you have never watched soccer until now and really don’t understand the game. I on the other hand actually think that America is changing because of the younger generation being exposed to the game of soccer.

I guess if you are in the business of self promotion and need to get your name on the top of the daily list, she has done that. She is now driving up her ratings. Like her or not, she has caught the attention of a lot of American Soccer Fans.

So here is the positive spin. Ann Coulter is not stupid. She is a business woman. with that said, she taken something that is here and now and forced her way in. She now has a captive audience and several bloggers (to include myself) writing rebuttals. She has taken a story line and bolstered it through the American journalists and pow, back in the game. In that line of work, (she is on the radio as well) controversy is king. A great publicity stunt!

Soccer Attitude

How does an American Soccer team end up with a German Coach playing in one of the most important games of American soccer history and playing against Germany? Today is a day that will live forever. America vs Germany.

Jurgen Klinsmann was actually the head coach for Germany in the 2006 World Cup. He is not the only one on the team that has German ties. Jermaine Jones is German and also American as well as Fabian Johnson, Tim Chandler, John Brooks, and Julian Green. Coach Klinsmann is a German citizen and soccer legend who has lived in California for nearly two decades. How did the US team become so internationally diverse. Does that then make us a US team or a team from the US with a hodge-podge mix of players.

Soccer or as the Europeans call it, football, is as popular to the rest of the world as US football is to Americans. So why is soccer just now catching a fever in the US? It seems by watching the news footage of the hundreds of folks hanging out at Chicago’s Grant Park, and the rest of the some odd 25 million viewers in America that this would somehow resemble a BCS championship game. With the fans shouting U. S. A!,  I find it fascinating that America is slowly catching up with the Europeans and making America a soccer nation. I say that with some reserve. American soccer and the Major League Soccer (MLS) is only 17 years old. How can we be a soccer nation as compared to the Europeans? I suppose there is no comparison really, but it is nice to think that the US is finally realizing that soccer (football) is a valid sport.

My only question really and the purpose of this blog is how is America’s attitude toward soccer changed? They say that Soccer is the stuff of dreams. Coaches teach their players why it is important and worthwhile to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude. I can understand that in a way. Being a soccer player takes a lot of physical training, and a lot of endurance training. Think about the game. A player has to ‘run’ or be extremely active for 45 minutes at a time. That is the length of a half. They go take a break for 15 minutes and do it again for 45 minutes. I suppose you can relate soccer training to that of leadership training. As I learned from my friend Mack Story, Leadership is influence. As his coach and mentor John Maxwell put it, “Leadership is influence. Nothing more. Nothing less. Everything rises and fall on leadership.” Sometimes in leadership people use a term called backward planning. That means that you start with the end in mind, what it is you want, and then plan backwards to get to that end result. In soccer, you also have to backward plan. You have to remember where you are going. Know where you are right now. Plan out what you need to do and then share with the players that this is why I believe we can get there. I love using sports figures and sports analogies in leadership. One quote that I can remember is that of John Wooden, “make every day a masterpiece.” To be competitive, you have to be well coached. Practice is the field where you make your mistakes. Let’s call those mistakes failures if you will. Failures during practice is exactly what you want. That way through your failures, you learn. In John Maxwell’s book, Sometimes you win, Sometimes you learn, he asks “what do you learn when you fail?” Successful people understand that life’s greatest lessons are gained from our losses – if they are approached the right way.

Since soccer really hasn’t developed as a National sport yet, Where did this anti-soccer sentiment come from? It surely didn’t materialize out of thin air. On the contrary, many of these argument are recycled year after year. Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post even tried the same joke in a June, 1994 column that he had used before the 1990 World Cup (“Can the Sweeper perform any domestic chores?”). No other sport is privy to such consistent degradation in the mainstream press. Tom Weir wrote in USA Today in December, 1993, that “hating soccer is more American than apple pie, driving a pickup, or spending Saturday afternoons channel surfing with the remote control.” What is it about soccer that generates this degradation?

In fact, most anti-soccer arguments have little to do with soccer. Whether its Dan Barreiro in the Mpls. Star Tribune inviting foreigners to World Cup in the U.S. with, “Bring us your tired, your poor, your hoodlums!” or Bernie Lincicome from the Chicago Tribune suggesting soccer’s only value in the U.S. is to serve “in junior high gym class as phys ed credit for kids who are free to use their hands to push their glasses up their nose,” what is often called “soccer bashing” is really based on century-old notions that branded football as the manly, American games, while soccer was either a sport for immigrants or a sport for fitness.

Many have suggested that baseball and football are solely American inventions. Yet soccer, football, and baseball evolved in virtually the same way. Just as baseball developed out of modifications made to the British game of rounders (the Abner Doubleday myth has been proven thoroughly unfounded), and football evolved from an unorganized version of English rugby, so soccer grew out of informalized versions of a game that had been played for centuries on both sides of the Atlantic. The same precursor to soccer played in England was recorded in Boston in 1657. The first recorded soccer club formed in the U.S. was the Oneida Football Club, which played on Boston Common from 1862-1865. This predates the formation of the English Football Association in 1863. The idea that soccer is originally less American than baseball and football was invented much later, with little basis in historical fact. (Mark Salisbury, Soccer News)

How do we fix the way that soccer is viewed and becomes an American spectator sport? We must change how the game is perceived. Soccer in the U.S. is as old as baseball and is no more foreign than golf. Moreover, many of America’s greatest players during those early years were born in this country. But to change the “ethnic” tag, we must recognize that all of those so-called “immigrants” are also our fathers and our grandfathers. As Sam Foulds, the late historian for the USSF, like to say, they are “Americans of foreign birth.” Just like each one of them, soccer has always been an American game of foreign birth.

Sometimes you have to forget how you feel

Forget what you feel

One of my greatest joys is helping people. Recently, I have had the distinct pleasure of helping two young ladies. They both were married, one for 12 years. Now I am not a phsycologist or any kind of practicing medical or clinician. I am only me and I take pride in the fact that I can help people through the words that I am able to scribe.

I really don’t know why two people who are madly in love with each other, make life plans to get married, have children, and then throw it all away and end it all with the horrific act of divorce. Divorce eats at the very soul of those that were intended to be together through love. How does one “Fall out of Love” exactly?

In the magazine “Phycology Today” an article Published on April 30, 2013 by Susan Heitler, Ph.D. in Resolution, Not Conflict states that “falling out of love” is now the most commonly cited cause of the choice to forego trying to save a marriage and instead to seek a divorce. Can you believe that this falling out of love has surpassed the former #1 reason of “having an affair” as the reason for getting a divorce.

Maybe the term “growing apart” and “falling out of love” should be used synonymously. What ever the term, divorce is the result 90% of the time. There are those that are able to patch things and continue to carry on but it is far and few between.

Going through a divorce has to be very tramatic. Knowing that your former life partner is now not. I can only relate as a product of divorce. I was raised by my mother and step father. I wouldn’t exactly say that my step father was an ideal father figure but he kept a roof over my head and food on the table. For me, it wasn’t exactly like we were the cleavers. I know that child sharing is not good for the children. To go to a house that you rarely know, to a father you haven’t seen since last summer. It is just weird. Furthermore, the father then acts like your best friend and not your father.

What does this actually have to do with attitude and for that matter having a positive attitude? Divorce is full of attitude, emotions and feelings. Usually bad. Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT expresses that an attitude can be open or closed. An open attitude is consistent with having an approach to the separation process. A closed attitude is consistent with a mind-set or maintaining a position. Shifting from a closed attitude, which does afford one a sense of protective cover, to an open attitude, which creates opportunity for resolution, requires a conscious decision to make a change and commitment to carry out the change. The latter being more positive than the former. Being open to the change, accepting the fact that you are now single and going to raise the children alone is a strong step forward. Having a positive outlook about your new found life will better help you get through. A friend of mine, Mack Story recently published his first book. In it he gives us 4 levels of responsibility with the greatest being to Accept Responsibility. We have fully accepted responsibility for ourselves no matter the circumstances. We understand this is where all of our personal growth happens, and this is how we solve all of our problems. I told the two young ladies in this story to Just let it go! You can’t do anything about the past but you can move on with a brand new positive outlook! We must constantly do the work in level 3, Accept Responsibility in order to create the life we want instead of accepting the life we’ve been given. Forget how you feel, and become aware and responsible for yourself, moving forward in action as action produces results.

Stephen Covey in his book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” says you have to have an “inside-out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. Inside-out means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self – with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. If you want a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathetic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus on primary greatness of character.

Your life needs to be a continuous process of growth and progress. Forget how you feel and learn and grow to the next level of your greatness. Have small private victories than will precede public victories.

Encouragement by Jon Gordon

I found an article that fit what I was thinking today. Today I will let someone else speak.

With so many people in the world telling us we can’t succeed, we need to hear people telling us we can. I remember my high school English teacher telling me not to apply to Cornell University because they wouldn’t accept me and even if they did I wouldn’t be able to do the work. (It’s funny that I’m a writer now). I almost didn’t apply but a few days later I saw Ivan Goldfarb, a former teacher, in the hallway and asked him about Cornell. He said, “If you get in, then you go. You can do it.” His words made all the difference. I applied, was accepted and majored in Lacrosse :).

Too often we think it’s our role to inject a dose of “reality” into someone’s life. We think it’s our job to protect people from the pain of failure and defeat. We think we must point out how bad the economy is and how horrible the job market is and how the sky is falling. We think that dreams were meant for others.

I say there are enough pessimists and “realists” in the world. The world doesn’t need more negativity and impossible thinkers. The world needs more optimists, encouragers, and inspirers.

The world needs more people to speak into the hearts of others and say “I believe in you.” “Follow your passion and live your purpose.” “If you have the desire then you also have the power to make it happen.” “Keep working hard.” “You’re improving and getting better. Keep it up.” “The economy is tough but you can still grow your business.” “The job market is not great but I believe you’ll find the right job for you.” “We’ve hit a lot of obstacles but we’ll get the project finished.” “Even if you fail it will lead to something even better.” “You’re learning and growing.”

When it comes to encouragement I know that everyone of us loves working for and with people who bring out the best in us. We love being around people who uplift us and make us feel great. And while we’ll always remember the negative people who told us we couldn’t accomplish something, we will always cherish and hold a special place in our heart for those who encouraged us.

Today I want to encourage you to be an encourager. So often the difference between success and failure is belief. And so often that belief is instilled in us by someone who encouraged us. Leadership, after all, is a transfer of belief.

Today, decide to be that person who instills a positive belief in someone who needs to hear your encouraging words. Uplift someone who is feeling down. Fuel your team and your family with your positive energy. Rally others to focus on what is possible rather than what seems impossible. Share encouragement. It matters and we all need it.”

Thank you in advance for the prayers for our family. Here’s to an encouraging week !

Aim At Nothing



I venture to journey back to my school days. It seems like it wasn’t all that long ago that I was pursuing my Master’s Degree. When you are in school, no matter what level  of school you are in, you are graded by letter grades. Some earlier school grades give you Satisfactory or Unsatisfactory grades. If you do really well and stay focused throughout the semester, quarter or what ever time frame your school used, you would be rewarded with an A. If for some reason you didn’t do so well or at some point you were a little slack and didn’t turn in perfect papers or turn in all your homework, you would get less than an A. Perhaps a B or a C. Whatever the length of time, you will always have another opportunity to get a better grade next semester. You have an opportunity to start over, a fresh clean slate.

While you are in school, the way you are motivated is by getting that A. Each time you get an A you feel good about yourself and you are motivated to get the next one. This happens until you reach 12th grade and you graduate. When you graduate and move out on your own, what do you now have to keep yourself motivated? This question is what plagues many young teenager when they move out. They don’t seem to have a grasp on life yet. It is still our job as parent to coach our children to become upstanding citizens. If they go on to college right away, they still have a structure to follow. If they don’t and they choose to start a career or perhaps just go to work, they still need to have a goal. A goal now becomes their motivation.

Zig Ziglar says, “If you aim for nothing, you will hit it every time.” I remember one of my family members that has done exactly this. He stumbled his way through high school not making it to that A.  Now that he has graduated, he seems to still stumble through life. He has no goals and he has no plan. He is hitting nothing everyday. Is this the way it was planned for him? No, I don’t think so. Does it mean that he is a failure? No, it means he hasn’t set the right goals yet. I remember a time that I was playing some 1 on 1 basketball with him. He wanted to become a professional basketball player. That was a goal. That was something that we can strive for. While he was going through school, he did not apply himself to meet that goal. He also did not apply himself to get that A. As we train up our children in the way that they should go, we try hard to teach them how to make their own decisions and hopefully they are the right ones. In this case, the decisions were not right.

How do we now accept the fact that when our child does not make the same decisions that we think they ought to make? At this point, they turn 18, get out on their own and do what they want to do. As parents, we have to learn to accept that this is how they choose to live their life. It may not be the right way but is their way. When I was 18, I remember very distinctly what it was that I did.

I remember graduating High School. I went to work at a local grocery mini mart. It wasn’t very exciting. I needed a little more of a challenge for my life. I graduated in June and by February i was enlisted in the Army. I set a plan, and had a goal. It is a significant difference to the plan that was mentioned above. So during school you are evaluated. Depending on what you do specifically after school, you may or may not have an evaluation process. In order to move ahead properly, the only way to grow is to set goals for yourself. We must be willing to write down goals that are objective and that cover the most important steps in our life. We need to make goals professionally, personally, and spiritually. Then we will be able to know how we are actually doing in these three areas. This will be our evaluation. We are now involving our character. What people will evaluate us by. So if you don’t have goals, like the person in my family, You will Aim at nothing, and hit it every time.


Sometimes you will encounter times that you need to cry but don’t let that control your attitude. You are stronger than any situation you are confronted with. All you have to do is change. Change your environment, your situation. You control the situation. Don’t let the situation control you.

Don’t have an Average Attitude

What kind of attitude do you have? Good, Bad, Average? I haven’t  seen as many bad attitudes lately as I usually do. 

One I am reminded of thoguh was a young man I met on line. I was surfing through my Facebook page when I saw some language that I really didn’t care for on my nephew’s page. I wrote a simple message that asked if the person could curb the language that was being used. It wasn’t long before this young man was cursing me out and he didn’t even know who I was. It is amazing the intestinal fortitude someone has from behind their computer screen. Anyway, I played with him a little bit and the young man was so off into his own world that he didn’t realize that his friend (My nephew) and I have the same last name. Well, he thought I was the father and after all the smack he was talking, he found out who I was, or at least who he thought I was he said, Oh snap you are the father. So very sorry sir. Again, behind his keyboard he was a bully. This young man had a very negative attitude and a very negative outlook on life. Why do you think he is that way? 

A lot of people have just an average attitude. Average is not good. Good is even worse. Do you know that a good attitude is actually worse than a average attitude? When a person has an average attitude at least you know how that person is going to be and act. You know what you are going to get. With a person who has a “good” attitude, the person is probably putting on a fascade. Although the person is showing you a good attitude, he may not be mentally in that good attitude. The person may not be telling you everything that is going on. It is kind of like going to the store and purchasing a fake Louis Vittan or Gucci. All the straps, buckles and lether is all there and looks the same, but it is indeed not the same. So what I really mean is that you really don’t know what you are going to get. All over America, people purchase fake when they really think they are getting real.

Why would you want to be average anyway?  Let us take the one component in our life that we use and can never ever get back. Time. Time is something that once it is spent, you can never get it back. You can’t go back to yesterday, a week ago, or longer. What average people do is just mosey along letting time be their enemy. They don’t have a concept of how time works. Sure they know in the morning it is breakfast time and time to go to work. In the afternoon, they go to lunch and after work, they come home and get dinner. Then when it is all over, they go to bed. Then they may ask themself, what did I do all day? But probably not. The next day and all through the week it is the same thing.

You need to surround yourself with great people and great attitudes. These people know about time and how to manage it. They understand passion and how to get to a goal, an end state. They know what it means by dreaming and how to turn the dream into a reality. Most of all, you have to remember that you are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. If you want to be a Doctor, do you think it is smart to hang out with a bar tender? I suppose that while going through Med School you will meet a bartender or two. But seriously, It is all about seizing the opportunity. Some may remember the saying “Carpe Diem” which means to Seize the Day. You have to do things with a purpose. Average people don’t have a sense of urgency about them and so their day is the same day in and day out. Don’t hang out with them on a daily basis.